Equipment

As a brief interlude from endless pics of two fairly average looking guys shoveling and admiring grapes, here is a rundown (to be added to from time to time) of some essential winemaking equipment at Stoney Rise.

The Probe:

Great for turn overs. Gets them juices flowin'. Watch as Joe expertly inserts it. And read as our innuendo becomes even more rife.

The Winery's main work space:

Feels more like a gentleman's lounge or decadent retreat than a winery. Beyond the barrels is the billiards room, the gaming lounge, the gladiatorial arena and a turkish bath.

Large tubs:

Perfect for doing small clonal ferments. This one contains Clone 115. This means little to many, but much to us. We love clones. Especially the episode where Anakin Skywalker lightsabres up some people. We also like Dolly the Sheep. That's also clonal.

Steel buckets:

Essential winemaking equipment because it looks fuckin awesome filled with dry ice and Hendricks gin. Note our beaker for measuring pours.

Plastic buckets:

Behold the tower of picking buckets. We believe this may be a world record for a stack of grape picking buckets but will settle for 'Largest In The Southern Hemisphere' or 'Pretty Big For Tasmania'

Hoses:

Haha. Is that Mike making it look like his hose is a penis? No way! That guy is crazy. Oh, no, its just a hose with Pinot Noir juice gently flowing over the cap. It's only done a few times before plunging starts up anyway.

Industrial 'accidents':

Well, that's what we told the insurers when we got fed up with our picker bringing back bad bunches...

If you are reading this and freaking out, which you could be for either the brilliance of the blog or the innuendo to a murder, please be aware this is just delicious Pinot Noir juice being washed down a drain. Lucky drain.

The Winery Dog:

The Winery Dog is ubiquitous enough to make an entire series of books out of this type of winery equipment. Though the books are a bit of a yawn fest, we do defer to the reasoning that you make crap wine unless you have a dog hanging around the winery. This one is called Ralph, even though it's a girl dog. Go figure.

We can't show you her face as she is The Winery Dog.

*Disclaimer, Ralph is actually in Wine Dogs II and though it says 'likes chasing tennis balls' in her profile (and so many other profiles) she really actually enjoys sniffing other dogs asses and rolling in dead things.

To be continued...